Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Warning, This Will Upset You - "Why A Rural Wife Is Better Than An Urban Wife "

Wow, wait till you've read this.. Some home truths there but the writer is as stupid as stupid is for some of the things he mentioned here.. I'll say no more.. Share your thoughts when you're through reading please..  A friend of mine recently graduated from Makerere University in Uganda, he was doing his Masters. And at the graduation party he decided to surprise his parents with his engagement announcement.

Things are done differently in Uganda compared to other East African countries, a kwanjula is a big and grand affair. Sometimes even bigger than the wedding. Kwanjula
is the traditional ceremony where  the groom’s family comes to meet the bride’s family and carry all types of gifts for the entire family: parents, grandparents, siblings, aunties, uncles, cousins, second cousins, neighbours of the parents and sometimes even the guards get gifts. So it’s a very big deal to be married in Uganda.

Very involving. So, obviously, we were all happy for my friend and wondered who the lucky girl was because we never really saw him with anyone…serious…so to speak. It was however obvious
that it was some classmate or some workmate whom
they had spent time together and romance had
kicked in and she was pregnant and he felt obligated (she swore to kill him in his sleep more like) to marry her.

Or perhaps she was the boss’ daughter or even a Ministers daughter or a General’s daughter…whoever she was he clearly selected her for one of two reasons: pregnancy or career advancement. When one makes an announcement they are getting married the next question is always tantamount to a drug deal, or so as we see it on telly, show us the merchandise and only then does the exchange of cash take place.

So we asked to see this lucky lady who clearly swept our learned friend’s feet. He looked at her direction, signaled she stands up and she stood up and many wished she hadn’t. In fact it took some time to register because many thought he was ordering for a drink.

How a man selects who to marry is crucial. This is the one person, sadly, whom you shall purportedly spend the rest of your miserable life with.

The one whom you shall wake up next to without make up (yes, women have two faces: the dating one and the married one…yukk), the one who’s bad breath you shall smell every morning (they stop brushing their teeth before they sleep once you get married), the one who suddenly has smelly flatulence (have you ever heard or smelt a woman’s fart when you are dating?

Yeah, you shall once you are married), the one whose arms and thighs shall morph into jelly and you have to watch it stroll into the shower every morning (yukk), the one who you have to make love to…you know what let’s end it there, you get the point.

Men dread this decision. It’s tough. It’s traumatizing. It’s torture. A wise man once said one ought to look at his partner’s mother to gauge how she’ll look once married, but if that were the case very few marriages would take place.

Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and select a woman to marry, and then pray for a good looking mistress. So why were those at my friend’s graduation party flabbergasted by his soon to be wife? She looked more like their house help than the type of woman expected of a man his caliber.

Love is blind (I bet UGX 50,000/= that she was pregnant) but not stupid. And neither was my friend. He must have known why he selected a rural girl, who barely spoke a word of English, who had orange teeth and who dressed like his mother’s house help. When she stood up, his parents were still looking round…twisting their necks to see the amazing girl their son had selected for his wife as if she were standing behind her. But she remained standing and gave out a shy smile and at that point it was clear for all to know that she was the one (my other friend bet UGX 70,000/= that it was a joke). We lost. She wasn’t pregnant and it wasn’t a joke. This was the lady an intelligent urban graduate wished to take as his wife. The silence thereafter was deafening.

There are many reasons why an intelligent, learned and successful man would opt for a rural wife compared to an urban, independent and sophisticated wife. After the guest had gone, with much to gossip about for sure, I asked him why he chose his lucky partner…what qualities she had that drew him closer to her. Of course I was trying to win the bet as I was certain that she was pregnant and that was the real reason why he was marrying her and if the bastard confessed to me I’d be UGX 50,000/= richer. But I couldn’t let him know that, so I acted concerned, as any friend would. And as he shared his reasons for selecting a rural, probably illiterate, orange toothed bad dressing young girl I begun to emphasize and to better understand why…and it all made sense.

Reasons Why a Rural Wife is Better than an Urban Wife
There is a natural Warmth and Kindness that rural women emanate, one that is unachievable by the urban lady.

A rural chick has nothing to prove. She is healthy (lungs not polluted with tar and her liver is tequila free), fertile (hasn’t had 4 abortions), in good shape (all that digging and walking up hills to fetch water) and have survival skills.

Urban women are highly insecure as are driven by looks, material possessions and career. An insecure person can never be warm or kind because they are in constant competition with others and must get ahead.

This pointless competition is absent in rural women gives them more time to focus on their partner, not on themselves.

The trust of growing up in a community is also another element, she learns how to accommodate others and tolerate them. Urban women are picky as to who is worth talking to and whom they deserve to be seen with.

A rural girl has no time for such social nonsense. I knew a poor bastard whose wife was a wannabe socialite and they kept rotating friends weekly, she controlled whom he spoke with because they were the ‘in thing’ and which friends to ditch, one has to feel sorry for that wanker – can’t stand up to her.

Rural women have been knitted by society’s crochet and are culturally perfect…they Know Their Place. Man is the head and woman must obey. Simple. No gender equality nonsense. No “Am on my periods so please cook dinner” bullshit. No refraining from any form of discipline. No checking or reading his emails or texts. What her husband says goes and he is the master of the house, just as her father was and his father was to his wife too.

If the husband comes home drunk it’s her responsibility to ensure he gets into bed, not nag him like an urban woman would (in fact she wouldn’t even be home, she’d be out with her girlfriends).

If he is hungry you make him a meal no matter what time of the day. If he wants sex, you give it to him wholeheartedly not start whining how tired you are or the inconvenience because you must first wash off your makeup.

They treat a man how he ought to be treated, like a king. Urban women are confused and don’t know the gender laws, they want to compete with men, they verbally and sometimes physically abuse men (an abomination for rural women- except the new breed of Nyeri women in Kenya) and they cheat on their men.

A rural woman would never cheat on her man, never. Loyalty to her king and fear of her king ensures this. She knows her place and understands what is expected of her and she will never meander looking for more or filling her head with stupid ideas like men and women are equal...she is too busy filling up the jerry cans, cooking, looking after the baby and looking after her man to bother with the idle nonsense that occupies the urban woman.

Rural women are Appreciative. Acts of kindness, such as a smile, mean so much compared the urban lady who shan’t even reciprocate your kind smile. They are innately happy so don’t need much to accentuate their happiness. What makes an urban woman happy:
  • A car (with or without a logbook)
  • dinner at an expensive restaurant
  • jewelry
  • clothes, shoes & handbags
  • fake/real human hair
  • perfumes
  • an all expenses paid holiday
  • makeup and bleaching cream/pills
And what makes a rural woman happy:
  • a smile
  • a compliment
  • a joke
  • a drive to the airport
I rest my case.

Rural women are very Grounded and Mature. They don’t live in fantasy or have their heads in the cloud. They are realist and survivors. In the event that one is to have a flat wheel, an urban lady (the independent one and advocate for gender equality) shall ask a man to change the wheel. Whereas a rural woman will change the flat wheel herself. If the car runs out of petrol, there is no way an urban woman will push the car, but a rural woman will.

The aspect of getting something done drives these women and makes them an asset…why do most people prefer to hire house helps from the rural area vs the one’s in the city? Yes, the ones in the city are criminals, lazy and cunning. The same principle applies when selecting wife material, someone who is focused on solving the problem instead of complaining how the problem is affecting them is always a better candidate for the job.

When things go wrong, the urban woman exacerbates them by complaining how affected she is: the car has a flat wheel…”Oh, am so stressed, now I’ll be late and get stuck in traffic, then I’ll have to push my salon appointment to tomorrow. Why is this happening to me?” The car has run out of fuel in the middle of the highway… “Oh, how could you not check the gauge? How irresponsible of you, what if my boss sees me? What if my friends at the club see me? How do I get out of here?” Bitches shut the fuck up and do something about it!!

Morals are key to selecting a lifelong partner. If you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone they had better not be amoral. Unfortunately, a large percentage of urban women are amoral. As long as they know they can get away with it they will do almost anything and everything.

I know an urban friend who does all sorts of things behind her husband’s back because she knows he’s a good man and will never suspect her. Shame on her!

A woman is the epitome of moral perfection; a mother, an advisor and a symbol of responsibility. An adulterous woman is worse than an adulterous man, that is why even women themselves say “It’s different for a woman”…because it is.

Society expects more from women because they are the ones who will pass it on to their children. The moral decadence of the urban woman is shocking and very perturbing. Out drinking heavily almost every night – what kind of an image is that to paint for yourself, and you expect to find a husband?

Filling your lungs with cigarette smoke – and you expect me to marry you so I waste all my money on medical bills. Running around clubs with young boys wearing tight short skirts and high heels – if you haven’t matured and still think you are a teenager, look in the mirror baby, the wrinkles, saggy tits and grey hairs speak a different story.

Sleeping with your supervisors for a job or for that promotion – no man will want or respect you and that post that you got shall be available to the next open vagina that comes along. Rural women don’t have time for such shit because their happiness is not determined by their looks, by their cliques, by their paycheck…no!

It’s by having their house in order. A happy and clean home means much more to them than anything else in life. And with that comes an achievable sense of satisfaction and self actualization which then eliminates any need for moral compromise.

Lastly and most importantly is the Maternal vs Career Impulse. Men want to look good with a hot chick by their side but want to marry a mother to their children. Always remember that. Always!

Urban women place their careers as a priority over family and that is why most end up as ‘play-things’ for men. But rural women are motivated by two instincts: good wife and good mother.

I don’t want my children raised by a party animal. I don’t want my kids raised by a nanny because their mum is busy at work. I don’t want my children raised by a bitter stay-at-home mum who had to quit her job because she got pregnant. I want my child raised by a woman whose ambition it is to be a good mother. I want my kids raised by a woman who desires nothing but the best for them and only them. I want my children raised by one who is happy and appreciates the simple and intrinsic things in life. A rural woman.

So, I guess my friend does have a point. People will always question his decision, but as he said “Am not asking for approval from people, who are they?”

Which makes sense because people are highly capricious; will love you one day and talk shit about you the next day. As we continued to speak I begun to see why he had chosen her and respected his decision more and more.

He was going to spend less and gain so much compared to those married to urban women and I envied him. I was even tempted to ask if she had a sister, but when I saw her smile…I realized it takes a better man to look at those orange teeth daily and not run away.

One would have to keep her hidden during corporate meetings and always attend office parties unaccompanied but apart from that I think he got a good deal.

Wow, so what do you say? Some home truths there but the write is as stupid as stupid is for some of the things he penned here.. I will say no more.. Share your thoughts please


IB said...

i think this man needs to marry one of those human-looking dolls. He is in cuckoo land.

emissai said...

Good piece! big up bro! u hit every point right and hard!

Anonymous said...

he definitely has points and i respect his decision.

Anonymous said...

He is not looking at the long run. She might enjoy taking care of the kids but she ain't gonna be helping them with their homework. I doubt she will have much to contribute to the children's education. He reminds me of men here who go back to Nigeria to pick a wife because they think she's "unexposed" and will make a better wife. Most of them end up regretting it because even "a village girl" will open her eyes eventually and begin to wonder why she can't have what other women have. I know a man like that who went to Nigeria to pick a wife on three different occasions, he's now thrice divorced with child support and alimony payments.

I have to question this guy's exposure cos he's sorta claiming very woman that lives in an urban environment is an adulterous smoker who spends all her nights in clubs drinking copious amounts of alcohol. I consider myself an "urban woman" and have never really enjoyed such things. His claims are absolutely ridiculous.

I suspect what really motivates guys like this is their desire to have a woman they think they can control and who won't question them because they consider her to be beneath them.

Anonymous said...

Oh I forgot to add; it won't matter whether she can help with the kids' education or not if they have daughters because I assume he would want to raise them to be a bunch of rural women who will dedicate their lives to serving their husbands.

Berrykiss said...

Team @IB and Anon Mar14 here friends, ahn ahn @emissai and @Ope, what points do you refer to, the writer is a friggin' chauvinist.. Simples.. Some things he wrote re just appalling, and I refer to how he described both the urban and rural women, condescending.. Anon Mar14 said it all, you go girl..

Anonymous said...

You've got to feel sorry for the woman who raised this ignorant pig who ought to be shot back to 1000 AD, where he belongs. See education is wasted on some people because they totally perceive it wrongly.

Anonymous said...

Half-brained men who think women should remain slaves just because they're the weaker sex are no different than animals in the jungle. They have an IQ equivalent to the size of their cock. In fact, white people should keep ensalving black people ...because they are the stronger race! Stupid, selfish, egotistical scumbags, can't have respect or compassion for anyone but themselves. Shame on all of you chauvinist pigs, enemies of progress, they want to enjoy modern convenience but can't stand modern ideas, hypocritical assholes. Na God go punish you all.

Anonymous said...

Men like these ones hate women and can't stand them. They're looking for women to punish without cause, one that would look the other way whenever she catches them in bed with their buddies (co-women haters) yes, they're not even gays, that would be a nice way to describe
them. They're nothing but faggots! Sad lots.

Aderemi said...

So you prefer marrying a rural chic to an urban chic...ok, its ur opinion and its noted...thank you for spoiling it for the rest of us "Einstein"...i know what am walking into marrying an urban chic...thanks again for reminding me "captain obvious" #smh

You just gotta love some ppl sha