What AY (Comedian) Said About Valentine : )

Love it or hate it there's no getting away from Valentines Day. And, like birthdays and anniversaries, you must represent or allow the man next door to take over. Only God knows why that man called St Valentine did not mind his business in the first place and allow everybody to just rest. Better still I think Valentines Day should have been a special day where everyone should just sleep off and wake up the following morning without thinking of the day before. Anyway, I
know some of you are already saying what is wrong with this unromantic comedian? I really don’t care what you think about me now. For all I care, you may wish to “speak to my right hand”.

Whether you like it or not, for many people, Valentines Day instills fear, dread, pressure and bitterness. It could even pass for “Breakup Celebration Day”. But before you go ahead and cast the first stone at me for expressing myself, let me explain further. Valentines Day, for most lovers has turned out to be the confirmation of the cheating hearts in their lives. It is a day where cheaters have to try to satisfy both their spouse and lovers with gifts and time. It is a day when men and women take risks that they normally would not have to take. It is the day that you bake that lovely cake, play the best love songs and put on your designer lingerie only for you to give up waiting for Peter after the cock finally crows at dawn. It is the day that one Mr. Lover Man would travel all the way from wherever to pay Stella that surprise Valentine visit and end up surprising himself. It is the day that some husbands would suddenly have “emergency meetings” and goes home very late looking tired and used.

Experience they say is the best teacher. So you may wish to count on my little experience and subscribe to my advice for free this valentine period. I once had a girl who played a fast one on me back to back on two different Valentine’s Day celebration. The first time, it was her mother who sent for her to leave school and come home on Valentines Day morning. The second time, it was her uncle that asked her to come to Lagos to collect the clothes he brought from London for her. This was a girl whom I had packaged one small surprise Valentine party for In my hostel. At the end of the day the party almost turned out to be a Boys Brigade Party with twenty boys and only four girls in attendance. Every other girl either got a call from their mum, or one information or the other came in that morning from their uncles. Some campus boys were not left either. I could remember one of my next door neighbors telling his girlfriend, just two days before valentine that he needed her to give him a break for one week.

I really don’t want you guys to misunderstand me here. I strongly believe in Valentine. I am a very romantic and loving married man. As a matter of fact I am looking forward to giving my wife a treat on Valentines Day. I am going to get her luxury Roses or lilies from an expensive florist. I am getting her an understated elegant card with few meaningful lines about our time together. I will be taking her with me on a trip to spend our Valentine night in the comfort of a very popular 5 star hotel in Abuja. (shhh.. my wife must not hear this part. The hotel has been paid for by a client who has already booked me for a valentine show). But God forbids! What happens if the need suddenly arise for my wife or the woman in your life to travel on Valentines Day with the excuse of her uncle’s neighbor’s cousin getting involved in an accident? What happens if your fiancé/husband suddenly gets a call to travel to Abuja on St. Valentine’s Day for an “emergency meeting”? ” what would you do?

The lovey-dovey day of the year is back again and this is equally the best time to catch cheating partners. So pay more attention to your relationship and never ever get involved in anything that would easily move your spouse to anger this period. More so watch your back if you have a partner that is already raising the hypothetical question of, "Do you think it's possible to love more than one person at a time?” Just know that anything could happen on Valentines Day. Happy Valentine.

PS: This was written in 2010.