Sex On The First Date; Are We Still Judged By It?

Danny Roberts photo

I lifted this from Jaguda written by Jummai. Okies, you may now read..
Now I’m sure all the holier than thou peeps are about to get their panties in a bunch just from the title alone, but none the less I’m here to talk about having sex. And doing it on the first date. I’m a 21^st century woman, and I’m a lover of sex. I don’t consider myself an ashawo or
anything like that but I do believe in sexual freedom, meaning if I want to have sex, I do, and I don’t need permission or clearance to do so. I’m sure some people have already called me names from my statement, but it’s whatever.

I was having a discussion with a few friends over drinks (that’s when everyone is honest) and the issue of sex on the first date came up. Now before I go into all that, let me just give a mini story.

A while ago, I was introduced to a guy by a mutual friend via facebook. Very good looking guy, so after a few messages we connected on BB, and chatted up a bit and over the next few days we talked and got to know each other, and all that good stuff. Eventually I agreed to go out on a date with him.

The date was as good as any date I had been on. He was just as handsome as I expected via his pictures, we talked about a range of topics, and he pretty much impressed me with his intellect, and vast knowledge on a lot of things. This guy was very well rounded.

After dinner, we headed to a bar, had a few drinks, then we’re in the club dancing the night away, and I’m having a time of my life. Slow dancing, extra touching, and one thing leads to another and we find ourselves at his apartment making out on the couch.

Pause.

Now at this point, the girl in me is thinking “Slow Down” but everything else points to letting things flow, and let it flow it did. We had sex. Great sex if I might add, and that was beginning of a 15 month relationship. We broke up eventually for numerous reason but we remain friends.

Back to the present now, and I tell my friends of my sex on the first date story and how it lead to my last relationship, and to my surprise I was judged by almost everyone. The guys, the girls, and I’m sure the bottles too. “How could you?” “That’s ashawo behavior” “That’s probably why you guys didn’t last. He never respected you.” You would think I offered to have sex with him for money.

I personally think that if it feels right, then go ahead with it. I’ve done the whole “wait for the 3^rd date” thing, and guess what? After that date where we had sex, a few days later he was acting funny and a week or 2 later he was history. I have friends who hold out for months, and once the guy gets the nookie, he bails. So really, what’s the big deal with having sex on the first date? Why so much emphasis on it?

I’m of the opinion that it’s only an immature and insecure man that’ll hold that against you. One common statement I get from guys is “well if it was that easy for one guy, then maybe it’s easy for everyone.” Negative. Not every guy is able to win me over like that. One guy might take a few hours, and another might take 6 weeks. It’s all based on chemistry to me. Then again I might be wrong…

…I would think we would have gotten over this, but in 2012 are we (women) still being judged by when we put out?
Guys, what’s your opinion of a girl you have sex with on the first date?
Ladies, would you have sex with a guy on the first date?

I’d like to hear from both men and women.