If The Subsidy Is Not Restored

Just the other day, while reading The Times, I saw a picture-A couple (heterosexual) locked in a passionate embrace on the bare tar of a road. They were oblivious to the backdrop of orange flares. Yes, these two lovebirds in the midst of the Syrian protests-cute.

Well, everyone at this end has been so serious. I go through the updates on my BBM and its one chart or the other showing comparative fuel prices and the like. Well, me too I’ve written my fair share on the matter-serious articles. Today, I thought ‘What if the subsidy isn’t restored; what would I do? In what ways would I change my present behaviours and attitudes’? This thought made me chuckle out loud and I decided to share.

If the subsidy isn’t restored, I’ll change my haircut to skido. Yeah, that haircut sported by 2face Idibia.

Do you know how economically viable it is to sport that?


It takes a month to grow your hair after a good skido, not to mention that hairstyle is so basic that any adult with a firm grip can give you a cut.
In my friend’s kitchen cupboard, there are shiny wrappers of instant popcorn. You place them in the pan and in a few minutes, you have fluffy snow-white popcorn pouring over the pan’s edges. Well, I will stock up on this and that will be the genesis of my exodus from cinema patronage. Homemade popcorn, drapes drawn and my room transforms into a movie house.

I will remain single. Yes, expectations were high that I would get a concubine this year, but with this-I would put a moratorium on such plans. Apologies to ‘The One’ when she reads this.

I will migrate to the BB Complete Package. Do you know what that translates to? Savings of one thousand, five hundred naira (N1,500) a month. Life is simple,isn’t it?

Finally, I will take my doctor’s advice and take long walks. The other day at Obalende, I took a ‘stroll’ through a backstreet and burst out at Tafawa Balewa Square. Well, Lagos is miraculously wired in such ways. For a decent walk, you’ll shave some quid off transport costs.

I know so many of you might have been considering this-maybe you feel if the subsidy isn’t restored,

you’ll switch from Heineken to Star…yeah, Star is fifty naira cheaper.

Some would say then, ‘What T.M. Lewin can do, Tony Tigana can do better’. Well, share your ideas in the comment box people. I’ll really like to hear from you.

Disclaimer: This is in no way an endorsement of the subsidy removal or a foreshadowing of things to come.

Lol